Saturday, October 17, 2009

Having a joyful spirit

It is 5am and I am wide awake. Why? Hahaha Last night we went shopping for new things for our bathroom. While in line the cashier asked how I was doing. I vented a little saying I had been there for 2 hours with three kids on a sugar high trying to pick out crucial items for the bathroom. Paint and accessories for Halloween can be crucial things to someone like me. I had forgotten pet food and kitty litter but was already in line and not about to get out again. She just said huph. Not that I really expected a response, I know she was trying to appear to be personable. Well she started singing to herself and I said You have such a Joyful spirit  I imagine its great especially when things are so crazy in the evenings, that I wished after being there for so long I could have one as well but sometimes I struggle (as i'm sure most mothers do) . She said that if I belived in God it wouldn't be hard to have a joyful spirit. I was completely taken aback. I just... even now am speechless about it. Since when is having a joyful spirit contingent on my Christianity? I am I less of a Christian because I struggle to have patience and a joyful spirit?  I'm not Michelle Dugger I don't know many mothers that are. I love my daughters they try my patience sometimes and having a joyful spirit when they are distroying things is hard.  I just dont know what to think about this.  Am I less of a Christian because I struggle? I'm not less of a good person. I would think after being a Walmart for two hours with my kids anyone would struggle with a joyful spirit.  I did a amazing women of the bible study they had ups and down in their lives but were still amazing strong Christians. I know that im not those women to anyone except my children and my husband. I hate when people make you question, but then I remember two things, one is the Screwtape letters, the second is sometimes we become stale and God needs to shake us up a little. I am sure because of other attacks that Satan is trying to convince me to just give up, and the God is trying to shake me up and get me off my butt I can feel him pushing I just am not sure what it means.  I am positive of the direction. My family doesn't understand my excitment about this place I have recently discovered. The women there are these amazing christian women. I know God has something in store for me at this special place. I'm not sure what it is but God has never steered me wrong before. I belive this place is going to help restore my faith in "the church". People may think i'm crazy but they often do when God has a job for us that we don't quite understand, and to be perfectly honest until it all started streaming from me I don't think I knew why I have pushed to have the unique position that I had been given. So remeber my in my newest God given journey.

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