it's starting.. sadly..

My baby.. my last little baby is growing up.
I'm proud of him.
REALLY..
kinda..
not really.
Truthfully I just want to cry every time he learns to do something new.
He now babbles and "talks" to you, he rolls over in both directions deliberately, he kinda army crawls to different toys, He has started eating cereal, He's drinking water (and unfeet tea) during dinner from a sippy with a little help, and now today he's started getting on all fours and rocking which means he'll be crawling soon. I'm glad I bought those baby gates last week but it still makes me a little sad.
Soon he'll be talking and crawling then walking ect. ect. ect.

Happily though he loves his mommy and his favorite place (and mine) is in my arms.  

OH! middlest has taught him how to smack his lips! 

1 year later April 27th

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of April 27th. A horrible day in Alabama's history. Every county had tornados. Many lives were lost. We were lucky. Please stop and say a prayer for those who lost family members, neighbors, friends, homes and other many things. It was a heartbreaking terrifying time. A lot of families still have no home or still in temporary homes. We are still just finding out how much we lost.
Here are some pictures from last year.

Goin a little nutty here!

Hi my name is Rachael and I have a high needs baby, 2 school agers, and a teenager. I don't know how in the world to get ANYTHING done!

Supernova wants to be held or in my sightline ALL THE TIME.

Big_Gwrl needs help with reading and addition everyday.

Middlest has to study her spelling words for HOURS and her subtraction everyday.

Eldest needs someone to study with and explain to her how to type reports in certain formats.

Big_daddy needs a loving, caring, nurturing wife who gives HIM attention. 

A healthy dinner must be made nightly, breakfasts must be preped, lunches made. 

The house unpacked and cleaned constantly.

Laundry must be going daily. 

Half of the time I don't know if im coming or going.

Its really hard trying to get things done. I wear the baby and try to get some sort of house work done each day but there is only so much you can do with a fussy screaming baby tied to your chest. especially when it comes to unpacking. I've tried setting him in his bouncer seats for small amounts of time. That doesn't work well. So I end up playing with him on his blanket. I enjoy the fact that my son loves his mommy and always wants to be near her. My heart swells each time he reaches out for me and smiles and alternately breaks when he reaches out for me with tear filled eyes. I know that no one EXPECTS me to have a perfect house and such. But is it so wrong that I expect myself to be able to do it all? A neat house (not perfect), dinner in the oven, happy kids (snort) who sit down and do their homework with mommy while baby plays patiently on his blankie? I know that I will EVENTUALLY settle into a routine in this new area that works for us. I know Supernova won't always want mommy so close so I should enjoy this time and all that blah blah blah stuff. But right now my life is chaos with EVERYONE complaining that there isn't enough of me to go around. How do you guys juggle it all? 

Mexican basagna

So a few months ago I attempted making chicken enchilada's. They might have turned out good if I'd actually used a recipe. But what would be the fun in that? My mess up turned into a really yummy casserole. The girls loved it so yesterday I made it for Big_Daddy. It was a hit!


Mexican basagna
1 package of corn tortillas
1 large can of Salsa Verde
1 boned rotisserie chicken OR 4 cooked chicken breasts (shredded)
1 can of refried beans
2 blocks of montrey jack cheese (shredded)

Pre heat oven to 350. Grease a large cassarole dish. heat up your salsa verde and your refried beans in separate pots.
-(bottom layer- cover the bottom of your dish with a light layer of refried beans. Then cheese, then a layer of corn tortillas then a LIGHT layer of salsa verde ( this will soften the tortillas so if you use alot they will turn to mush but it's yummy that way too!)
-middle layers- then beans, chicken, cheese, tortillas, salsa verda. do this until you are ready for the top layer
-top layer- beans, tortillas, salsa verde then lots of cheese

cook covered for 45 min uncover for 15. The family likes the cheese squishy before it browns (i dont! ) so you might want to leave it in longer.
dish out and top with Low fat (or regular) sour cream ( or none which is how I like it!)

This recipe is kid approved! Big_gwrl likes it because the salsa verde isn't hot or spicy.

Supernova's steam engine and night night songs

Supernova only takes a pappy at bed time. We do play with it during the day taking it in and out of his mouth and mommy's playing MY pappy! Lately though he has learned how to spit it out of his mouth so at bed time when you give him his pappy and he doesn't want it Supernova will start blowing sounding more and more like a steam engine hissing until it finally shoots out of his mouth like a rocket. I love it!! Every night I rock him in our chair singing two certain songs to him (Puff the Magic Dragon and Peggy Gordon) until he falls asleep. Tonight I fed him and then I snuggled him and put his pappy in his mouth but before I started singing Supernova pulled his pappy out of his mouth... patted my face and went ahh ahhh ahh.. like he was singing. A beautiful moment between mommy and her baby.

5 month old

This was little man 5 months ago. A tiny scrawny, blue eyed, bald headed, little baby boy

This is little man now... chubby, and snuggly. He like to laugh at his sisters. He wrinkles his nose when he smiles and you cant resist smiling back.  His blue eyes have turned brown ( THANK YOU GOD) Little man can roll over and is learning to inch forward. He can turn himself around.. and best of all he reaches for people specifically mommy. He is a pimp. Wherever he goes the women follow cooing over him.  He's teething which is a new experience for me.  Middlest never had any issues teething and Big_Gwrl only did with her molers but we are getting through it. He is also a 100% breastmilk baby! Only one more month until I have reached the FIRST of my breast feeding goals! 

Thank you for letting my gush. I'm a lot proud of little man if you couldnt tell 

New environments

One thing I always hated about moving was having to meet new people. As I've gotten older it's gotten worse. I don't want to say i'm shy because I'm defiantly not that. I also don't want to say I have a social anxiety disorder because that would be using my depression as a crutch instead of rising above it. The first time I remeber it REALLY affecting me was my first real job interview. Ugh it was sooo bad. I cried I seriously got so freaked out I cried.. during the interview. Today was a church picnic at our new church so I decided since the baby was asleep and the younger girls were grounded I would take Eldest. Part of me is screaming WHY?!?!?! Stay home!! Let Big_Daddy take her!! but I wouldn't let that part win so I went. UGH. Not many people were there (at the time) and the ones there were all knew each other. They were closed ranks. You know? Defiantly not a sight that someone like me needs to see coming into a new and strange place. One man stepped aside and said to Eldest there were kids over there for her to go meet then he went right back into his group. It was really hard to..... I don't know.. overcome?? I lasted about 30 min. I tried to talk to a few people but I felt more like I was interfearing. So Eldest and I came home... we ARE going to go back just with the family that way i'll have some sort of buffer.
I can't let things like this pull me down! I refuse to go back down that path!! I want to be more like Tiny T and my lovely Purple Haired friend and get out there. Jump into conversations make people feel  welcome and like I am someone fun to know. I hate standing on the outskirts!